Parents: Get Out of Your Head & Into Your Soul

confused-parentsOh, the joys of parenting.

I’m somewhat relieved that I had my son 21 years ago when the choices on how to give birth and how to parent were much more limited than they are now.   I was also 19 years old and scared to death, so I pretty much just did whatever I thought pregnant women do.

Go to the hospital, have a baby, come home and figure it out.

Although I’ll pat myself on the back for doing what I believe to be a pretty darn good job, I know there are certainly things I could have done differently.  Looking around now however, I’m amazed at how the role of parenting has changed.

Google wasn’t there to save me when I needed to figure out why my son was crying endlessly in the middle of the night.

I figured it out. 

I didn’t have dozens of books on birthing and parenting and child nutrition lining my bookshelves.

I figured it out.

I didn’t have a pimped out stroller or tons of fancy gadgets designed to teach my child how to count to 10 by the age of…2 months.

I figured it out. (And so did my son. He can count just fine.)

I didn’t have a nanny to help with meal preparation or laundry or house cleaning or diaper changing.

I figured it out.

I’m not saying that having all of this is wrong. It is what it is.  However what I’m noticing is that the modern day parent has come to believe that they “need” these things in order to be effective parents and in the process have become conditioned to parent from a cerebral point of view rather than from an intuitive point of view.

We’re parenting with our head and have forgotten to listen to our soul. 

Parents today  have more than they ever have in the form of resources, yet there’s a general sense of confusion as to how to raise confident and responsible children in this chaotic world.  The internal dialogue starts to look like this:

Should I let him/her sleep in our bed?   This book says it’s okay.  That website says absolutely not.  What should I do?

Should I feed him/her a vegetarian and gluten free diet?  This book says it doesn’t matter.  That website says it’s a must.  What should I do?

Should I let her wear makeup?  This expert says yes.  That one says no.  What should I do?

Should I get him/her a cell phone?  The neighbours kids all have one.  Does this mean he/she should have one too?  What should I do?

The list goes on…and the noise gets louder. And louder.  It’s no wonder why parents feel like they’re going crazy.

I can’t imagine the pressure parents of young children must feel in this day and age to keep up with all the demands and expectations placed on them (which by the way, doesn’t go away when they turn 18…just saying).

The solution?

In order to parent from a place of truth, we need to do what feels right for us and listen to our intuition, rather than listening to everyone else’s opinions on what we should or shouldn’t do.

We complicate everything else in our lives…why complicate what should be the natural flow of being a parent?

Listen to your gut, and follow it.

If you’re looking for a more intuitive and spiritual way of parenting, my colleague and friend, Trisha Savoia invited me to contribute as a guest author for the Second Edition of The Soulful Parent series and it’s available to you at no cost (that means zero cash).

In my chapter, Ancient Wisdom for the Modern Parent, I took what I know best – The 10 Universal Principles of The Yoga Code™ and broken them down into bite sized chunks of knowledge on how the thousand year old tradition of yoga can help intuitively guide your parenting choices.

Get your copy here:

The Soulful Parent Vol. II: How to Stop Parenting from Ego and Start Parenting with Soul

Feel free to share it with all the parents and soon-to-be parents in your life!

MY PERSONAL PARENTING SIDE NOTE:  I let my son sleep in my bed when he was young.  I didn’t feed him an all-organic vegetarian/gluten-free diet as a baby.  I didn’t let him wear makeup because he never asked (and if he did, that would be just fine with me).  The result?  He’s perfectly healthy and happy. (although I strongly encourage making wise food choices for your child, and your self!).

What is your biggest parenting challenge in this moment? 

What has been your biggest intuitive a-ha lesson as a parent?

I invite you to share your thoughts below.

10 Responses to Parents: Get Out of Your Head & Into Your Soul

  1. Jackie, how exquisitely you have captured the essence of soulful parenting. Each child, each parent, each situation, is so unique. Following my heart as a mother, is the most valuable lesson I can teach my daughters. And when I get asked for the fourth time in four minutes “Mom when can I get a cell phone, everyone else has one?” from my 13 year old daughter, each time I say, “Sweetie, I really don’t care what everyone else has – when I feel you are ready, and need one (which right now you don’t) don’t worry, you’ll get a cell phone.”
    Thank you for sharing this so succinctly and honestly.
    Hugs Lee

  2. violetminded says:

    My biggest parenting challenge is this triple balancing act I do with two children under two PLUS a business that’s coming into its fourth year of operation — I want to be an awesome parent to them, but I don’t want to sacrifice my business either. Tough one.

    My biggest “a-ha” was when I realized that my gut was usually right. I don’t spend all my time Googling (although it’s handy for figuring out the whole potty training business). The kids are happy and healthy. Can’t really ask for more than that.

  3. Wow, wow, wow! Thank you SO much for sharing your personal story! It really highlights that the most important thing is the kids! It’s so true…there are so many parenting manuals out there, yet we find ourselves still with questions. And the answer really lies in listening to our intuition. I’m so thrilled and honored that you are a part of it!!! I can’t wait to make a HUGE impact on how we are parenting today!!! Thank you for being part of it! For anyone interested in becoming a more intuitive parent, you can download The Soulful Parent Vol. II ebook here :)
    Tons of love~xox

  4. Todd Lohenry says:

    Another beauty! Thanks…

  5. Cathy says:

    I totally agree Jackie on all your points. Each parent has to do what is right for them and their children and family. I always tell my children that some things haven’t changed – like good manners and values. But so many other things have. Best to go with your gut feelings and common sense and not worry too much if you are following the book or I guess now it is google. I remember my aunts (all 6 of them) telling me my babies should be toilet trained by 12 months. That never felt comfortable so I didn’t follow that advice. And yes, it doesn’t end at 18…maybe it even gets harder then as these young adults are starting to make life changing decisions. Thanks for the great article.

  6. Jackie says:

    Love the article Jackie and can’t wait to read the e-book! When my children were born I had decided to breast feed and carry them as much as was needed…I was definitely NOT going to sleep with my child, till that first night home and every time I placed my bunch kin in his cozy crib he screamed. The pressure was huge though because sleeping with a baby was generally frowned upon by most parents i knew. Needless to say from that night on he slept in our bedroom because it really felt right instinctually. That was my first aha moment of following my instincts while raising a child. Like everything in life, following your gut makes most things flow easier;)

  7. Marialuz Jimenez says:

    loved to read your words. We have a 5 year old boy and we have been surrounded by too much information… when he was a baby I decided to follow the advice of one book that made a lot of sense to me…
    All that information in books, the internet, input of other parents I found it overwhelming instead of reassuring…
    My biggest challenge right now is to be able to balance discipline and flexibility… I find myself sometimes being too much in one position over the other.

  8. Allison says:

    Well said. I have the experience of two children ages 20 and 5. I was young with my first and your right there was no google or parenting websites, she was raised on hand me down clothes and hand me down advice from mothers, grandmothers and girlfriends. I had no money and therefore no luxuries, no nanny’s, no fancy toys, classes or devices. With my second, I’m older, have more money and am constantly aware of the endless assault of guilt based marketing to make me think I need to buy this or register for that so that my kid will have a fair shot in the world. All I need to do is remind myself that child number one is a grown responsible, independant adult and she was raised with the basics and a lot of love and that’s really all that’s required.

  9. Janet Dubac says:

    I’m so glad to have read your post! It’s amazing and I really love it! Parenting is really difficult and no matter how many parenting books we read and how many parenting blogs we visit, there are still a lot of things left for us to learn and questions that are yet to be answered. Little do we know that we have that answers that we seek deep inside of us because we know what’s best for our kids. Thank you for sharing this excellent post! I really enjoyed reading it.

  10. Pingback: Parenting By Intuition: Listening To Your Soul

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